Sail Away!
by jadestarboo
Summary: [Beware: Crack!fic] What! Shanks, yes, REDHAIRED SHANKS, drank from…THE FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH! And now he’s 19! But why? To get a certain blackhaired boy that is. . But he’s not the only Luffywanter on board………… Yaoi Shanks x Luffy, Zoro x Luffy WAARRRRR! Grr
1. Chapter 1

**Title**: Sail Away!

**Summary**: What! Shanks, yes, RED-HAIRED SHANKS, drank from…THE FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH! And now he's 19! But why? To get a certain black-haired boy that is. . But he's not the only Luffy-wanter on board………… (Yaoi) (Shanks x Luffy) (Zoro x Luffy) WAARRRRR! Grrrr!

**Genre**: (Attempted XD)Humor/Romance

**Rating**: M (for lime and bad potty words!)

**Warnings**: YAOI! And MAYBE some extremely random bashings for random people and things and sometimes animals?

ME: Hey everyone! This is an attempted humor kinda thing. Heh…but so what? Now:Claps hands twice: Shanks, darling, please say the disclaimer.

Shanks: Eh? For YOU? Hell, no! XD

ME: You Soon-To-Take-Poor-Innocent-Luffy's-Virginity-Evil-Child-Molester.

Shanks: Why…THANK YOU!

Luffy: She dosen't own One Piece. I hope.

ME: Oh, yes…:cackles: I'll get you my pretty!

Luffy: O.o

Luffy was stupid…S-T-U-P-I-D…(AN: O.o? I dunno why I keep saying that in intros…I guess it's the only word I can describe Luffy! Srry! XD:runs:) cause he doesn't know about a excited Zoro behind him all ready to pounce…so…the green-haired 19-year old crept…closer…and closer…and closer…AND CLOSER…**AND**-

"LUFFFFYYYYY!"

Luffy turned around at the sound of his name. At that exact moment Zoro quickly ducked behind a barrel to his side. Whew, that was too close. If he keeps this up then Luffy will probably then be disgusted in him before he even knew it…but Luffy isn't THAT smart…is he? What if he walks in on me…in the bathroom with…uh…my…H-On? But then again…he probably doesn't know what it is! Yeah! That good! Then he'll help him with it:Gasp! That is perfect: I hope he doesn't know what sex is! Then-then…

The said man above was too busy drooling over the images and bliss that encountered his mind to hear footsteps behind him. Tap, tap.

"Zoro."

Tap.

"Zoro."

Tap, Tap

"Hey, Zoro."

Tap, Tap, Tap, Tap

"Zoro!"

…

"**ZOOOORROOOOOOOOOO!**"

"Huh?"

Robin rolled her eyes at the drooling man with an extremely perverted look on his face.

"Eh? Robin?...:drool:."

"Shanks here."

"So?"

"…………………………………And he's molesting Luffy as we speak."

_TBC!_

AN: Like? PLEEEEAAAAASE REVIEW! Cliffhanger:Evil look:

Shanks: Luuuuuuuuffy! Love is in the air! Can you feel it in your nether regions:Hearts:

Luffy: In my Norway?

Zoro: Hey, psst Luffy! Wanna sleep with me tonight?

Luffy: But I like my bunk.

Zoro: Do you know what sexxx is my Luffy-er Luffy?

Shanks: Of course he doesn't! That's why I'm gonna take his first!

Luffy: Sax?

Chopper: SEXXX? You people talking bout SEXXX? With THE triple XXX?

Shanks and Zoro gaining on Luffy: How bout a threesome? Except Luffy is the only one going to be naked!

Shanks and Zoro pounced on Luffy and dragged him away to their quarters leaving their "MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA's" behind…and also a unconscious Chopper.

Luffy is totally STUPID and clueless.


	2. Chapter 2

**Sail Away!**

**Summary: **What! Shanks, yes, RED-HAIRED SHANKS, drank from…THE FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH! And now he's 19! But why? To get a certain black-haired boy that is. . But he's not the only Luffy-wanter on board………… (Yaoi) (Shanks x Luffy) (Zoro x Luffy) WAARRRRR! Grrrr!

**Disclaimer:** Don't own!

**Genre: **(Attempted XD)Humor/Romance

**Rating: **M (for lime and bad potty words!)

**Warnings:** YAOI! CRACK! And MAYBE some extremely random bashings for random people and things and sometimes animals?

**AN:** Um…its been a very long while…hee…hi?

Umm, in chappie one, I changed something real small, just that I changed Vivi to Robin, so yeah.

**Chapter…2…**

Stare

Stare.  
Stare..

Stare…

Stare….

Stare…..

Stare……

Staaaaaareeeeee…

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Two 19 year olds stared at each other on the Going Merry. Yeah, and it's a staring contest, they hate each other. Yeah." Some dude explained to the crowd. (Crowd: ohhhhh)

Zoro's eye twitched but his stare was still steely steady. Yeah, as steely as Edward Elric's super kick ass steely arm.

'I'm not gonna lose to this friggin pot pie pixie pretzel! He has no life! Cause pretzels have no life! And **_I_**, in fact, have a life! (JSB: err…ya sure about that?) and I WILL NOT LET RED HAIRED PRETZELS DARE! TOUCH! MY! MONKEY!' The weed head thought and glared even more at the man, just inches from his face. They had been going at this for what?

Six seconds.

The younger Shanks thought, 'Hmmm…this weed head IS good at **_Shank's Cross-Doom-Stare-Super-Deluxe-Version. 2.3423255718!™_**! Dammit! I'M GONNA LOSE AT MY OWN GAMEEE!" He thought bitterly and unhappily as a piece of hair fell on his eye.

"Puuu, puuuu1!" He tried to blow it out of his eye. OH GOD THAT BUUURNS!

Across of him, the cow chew food head sniggered.

'**_DARE HE MOCK ME? THEN MY SECRET ULTIMATE MSN HIGH SPEED COMCAST INTERNET SHALL BE UNLEASHED IN ITS FEEEEAARSOME SUPER SAYIEN BURNING ACHOO BANKAI MODE! SHIYAHAHAHAHAHAHA!'_** The redhead suddenly **combust** into a cackle very disturbingly just like Arlong…creepy.

Zoro smirked as another hair fell into the other eye, "HA! YOU'RE SUCH A LOSER! YOU CANNOT EVER WIN AT**_ Shank's Cross-Doom-Stare-Super-Deluxe-Version. 2.3423255718!™_**"

Shanks growled. Zoro blinked as the-oh-so-handsome-even-Bon-Clay-would-do-him sex god Sanji appeared right next to him!

Zoro blinked again.

Bon Clay?

Ugh…bad thoughts.

Sanji smirked before lifting up a hand. Zoro screamed as if he was gonna bitch slap him!

But instead…

_WHAM!_

"GAAHHHHH!" The weed head yelled in agony and pain as a tic tac potato2 flavored breathmint went through his head, killing him instantly! KO!

Chopper stared at the twitching man who fell near him, "Oh no. He fell. And he's bleeding. And he's got a hole in his head. What shall we ever do."

Usopp screamed like a girl as the blood got to his pretty, pretty, Pichi, Pichi Pitch Mermaid Melody shoes.

Shanks gave another Arlong cackle, "SHIYAHAHAHA! SEE WHO WHEN NOW? Puuu…puu…" He FINALLY blew the hairs out of his eyes.

Luffy (Who popped out of nowhere) flung himself into the man's arms. The background was washed out and roses blooooomed with its entire BEAUUUUTY! The Shoujo Shiny background sparkled, and bubbles floated from nowhere.

"Oooooh, Shanks…Hmmmm…you're my…oh, baby…HERO." Luffy cooed, and moaned at the same time. Was that possible?

"Yeah," Shanks said in a very deep voice, "Yeah, baby, I'm gonna be your hero. Comen' let's speak of looove."

Luffy's innocent3 eyes sparkled with all its innocence, "Oh? Why not…SHOW ME LOVE?"

Robin in the distance rolled her eyes and continued reading her Kama Sutra. But…THE high pitch scream of doom…

ERUPTED FROM BELOW DECK…

_TBC!_

_**Chapter 3:** OH NO! WHAT WAS THAT SCREAM? AND WILL ZORO STOP THEM BEFORE LUFFY'S CHERRY POPS BY THE CHILD MOLESTER SHANKS! SANJI TAKES UP A NEW ADDICTION ON BREATHMINTS! NO! THE HORROR! AND CHOPPER! HE'S THE DOCTOR! WHY DOESN'T HE HELP ZORO? WILL ROBIN FINISH HER KAMA SUTRA? WILL USOPP CONVINCE NAMI TO BUT HIM NEW PICHI PICHI PITCH MERMAID MELODY SHOES? WITCH!NAMI MAKES AN APPEARANCE! STAY TUNED NEXT TIME, ON DIGIGIGIGIGIMOOOON!(just kid)_

**1: Gravitation…:cracks up:**

**2: Idea from Oni No Yami! I lOVE YOU!**

**3: LUFFY IS INNOCENT IN THIS STORY! NANANANA! Credit goes to schyra for that wonderful word I should have though of, to describe Luffy!**

**Reviews:**

**victoria:** Yes! I wrote more! Thx for reviewing!

**MarikTheInsaneInsomaniac:** Yeah! I wrote more! And I will check out your story!

**anonymous:** GO ZORO::waves flags: And lookie! New chappie!

**Warrior Nun:** Snicker, cool username! YESS! THE HEATED RIVERALY::points up: HOW'S THAT? (AND THE LIMONADE! XD)

**Dark knightress:** :laughs with you for no reason: and you got your wish!

**inuangel:** thanks for loving it atleast::hearts:

**Ororon:** I updated! Yea::dances:

**Kami-no-sama:** :whimpers: O-okay…………SEE LOOKIE! I UPDATED! YEAH!

**just a rambling romantic:** :puts on glasses: yes, I know…interesting species men. Hmmm…care for a further study?

**sezukadragon:** Yeah! I think like you! I think like you tooo! I KNOW HOW HAAARD IT IS TO FIND THOSE SHANKS/LUFFY FICS!

**isel1lja:** SUGOI! YOU'RE FROM NORWAY? COOOL! And…and…:twiddles thumbs: your username…:SUPERGLOMP: SO COOOL!

**simpleinsanity: **ohhhhh, your review! Really helpful, thankies, I know that I shouldn't leave off readers with just an intro::bows head, and don't worry, I'm not doing it just so I can get more reviews, you seeee…I kinda, after a week first posting this story, I lost interest in One Piece………(DON'T KILL MEE!)

But, you are right! Thankies for the cool review!

:Gives you cyber cookies:

**Junis:** I. KNOW. EXACTLY. HOW. YOU. FEEL. I couldn't find any too! YEA! GO JUNIS! GO FIND THOSE FICS::cheers you on:

**LZfOx1379**::MEGA GLOMP: WAAAA! I LOVE YOU ALREADY! I KNOW! THERE IS NO FICS WHERE SHANKS MOLESTS LUFFY! AND Shanks IS Suber awesome. :puppy eyes: sugar?

**AnariHanyou2:** Me too.

**Lady Akuma:** Really? Terrific::blushes: thank you!

**Oni No Yami:** SHIYAHAHAHAHA! Potato!throwingSanji LOVE. HERE! HERE! HERE'S YOUR SANJI! WITH POTATO FLAVORED TIC TAC BREATHMINTS! SANJI APPEAENCE! LET'S CELEBRATE! And I looooove Luffy too! So cute!

**schyra:** First reviewer! Yeah! And I did added innocent! You're so right, maybe I'm the stupid one! XD! Oh, sorry, about the OOC, thing, this is crack fic…so they're not really gonna be in character…I'll change the summary, adding crack! Ahead! Well, first reviewer is always the best::hands cyber cookies: congrats!

**That's all! Bye Bye! So you next chappie!**

**And in the meantime: critisims, flamies, and reviews are welcome! (I'll do something about the flames though…)**

**JSB**

**R&R!**


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